Hey guys, I hope you are all well. In today’s post, I am going to talk about 5 challenges I have had to face as a single mother. I hope you can relate and if you have other challenges to add, please comment below. I would love to read them.
Before I had my daughter, I was living my life independently, working very hard, having nights out, paid my own bills. However, when Sasha was born everything ended. I lost my job, no more night out, no more friends, etc. Just stayed at home (at least for the first 2-3 years).
The first few years was stressful because I was a first -time mum. I spent most days and nights crying my eyes out because I could not go anywhere without taking her with me, even if it was to go to the shops for a bottle of milk or bread. I always have to take her with me.
Sometimes you just go out for a walk, but the process of getting her ready, making sure she’s warm, the crying and the looks people gives you in public places, it became overwhelming, and made me want to just stay at home. Although there are mother’s club etc available, still you wouldn’t go because there will be ‘competition’ mums who feel they have all the answers to your problems.
This could be anything like, which extra activities should she get involved? Which school was right for her? Or what product should you be using on your child? I have spent so much money and time trying to find what is the best choice for my daughter. At the end of the day, she’s mine, her happiness depends on me.
I remember when she was ill, coughing, up all night and I had tried everything I could to help her and nothing seems to be working. I just decided to call the ambulance and by the time they came, she was fine. You should have seen the looks on their faces.
Most single mums do not have their shower for 3 days a week straight. Or had a nice home cooked meal for a whole week. It’s really that hard. You just wouldn’t have the time to think about yourself. Everything you do from the moment you wake up is attending to your baby. Even when the baby is sleeping, you wouldn’t be able to have a shower because you are either napping too or just thinking about the what to do next, what’s for dinner, quietly tidying up the house etc. You just completely forget about yourself or taking a shower.
Sasha was a good baby. However, when she was about 2 – 3 years old, I saw a new side of her development (Terrible Twos). She started crying a lot, making a mess everywhere. I turn around for 5 secs and she’s up to something. Can someone please explain how kids are able to think and act that fast? Talking about it now just makes me smile and laugh. How upset I use to get? I used to think I was doing something wrong because when she goes to grandma’s, she’s well behaved but not at home. Maybe I was not giving her enough love, I asked for advice from doctors, mums chat groups etc. I actually thought it was my fault this was happening. Everywhere I turned people said it’s normal.
Yes, parenting is THE only most difficult and rewarding job anyone could do. It is also the most terrifying thing that scares everyone. However, you must remember that being a parent is a part of your life. It’s not all of it. You can do still achieve your dreams etc. Having a child pretty much means you just have to work around her. Your child comes first and above anything else. There is just little you can do but one thing I have learnt is that you can not make everyone happy.