Am I Ready For Twenty-Twenty? That’s the question we should all be asking ourselves. In today’s post, I will be sharing my Self-Reflection for 2019. With only two months left, I decided to share a Self-Reflection on the growth I have seen in myself in the last year. Let’s jump right into it.
Am I Ready For Twenty-Twenty?
Joys Of Twenty-Nineteen
My aunt and husband visit the U.S.A. for – First time leaving Nigeria
I was so proud when I heard this news. My aunt and her husband helped raise me when I was younger in Nigeria, and I lived with them for many years before moving to the U.K. I have and forever will consider them as my second parents. My cousins are my siblings to me. That’s how close I am to them.
Sasha-Ann turned five and started Primary School.
My daughter turned 5, and we had a party at my house. She had a great time with her friends from the Nursery. Later this year, she started Primary School. It was very emotional to see my little one grow. I felt so proud.
I made it to HND in college – Dropped out.
Yaass, Queen, I finally made it. After 13 years of failure in Education, I finally made it to the Higher National Diploma level. Unfortunately, life threw lemons, and I had to make lemonade. So I had to drop out. Find out why Here.
Celebrated Life at 29
The first Birthday I have celebrated since my 15th Birthday. A nice dinner with friends and had a house party before hitting the clubs. I had a great time. Read More.
Sonia Bakes Cakes
I created a bakery business but left it on hold because I didn’t have the resources and support to open it officially. However, it is a work in progress. I need to work on my confidence and get my finance sorted. Check out the website here. Yes, it needs more work.
I went on holiday to Nigeria for -First time in 13 years
I spent my summer holidays in Lagos, Nigeria. It was the best summer holiday ever!!! It was my first time 13, and it was Sasha’s first time visiting Nigeria. I missed everything from the weather to the food and people, especially my family members.
I got my dream job
Yes, I got my dream job! Working in an office environment. After years and years of rejection after rejection, discrimination after discrimination against my disability, and fights and fights. I didn’t give up. It finally happened. And I love it. I was heartbroken when I was forced to drop out of college earlier, but I guess I made lemonade in the end.
What are you grateful for?
I am grateful that I gave myself a chance to live again. Growing up wasn’t easy at all. However, all that changed when I became a mother. I felt a big relief-finally a fresh start. I was not going to lie. It was tough at the beginning, where I had to isolate myself from the world because I wanted things to go smoothly and was scared of having my chance taken away by my surroundings.
For so many years, I have been told, ‘Sonia, you can’t do this, you can’t do that, ‘You are not good enough, you are just beautiful,’ Or ‘ Always do the right things, Sonia’. I felt trapped. So I decided not to listen to anyone nor let them get in my head because I am a mother now, and I want my child o to be proud to call me ‘mummy’.
What have been your biggest mistakes?
I don’t think I have made many mistakes this year. However, I feel that I did not take my Education seriously over the years from 2006 would be my biggest mistake. Despite being a single mum, I decided to go back to college to try it again and see what happened. I made it to the HND level.
When I got my offer, I cried because this was something I had always worked hard for over the years. Due to my insecurities and lack of self-belief, and constantly worry about what others think about me. I wanted to celebrate the news so bad, but I knew I had to decline the offer because there was not enough support that I needed to succeed in the course. However, I bought my favourite Ice-Cream and patted myself on the back. ‘Well done, Sonia’.
Are you comfortable in your skin?
Oh yes, most definitely. You know what, sometimes you are comfortable in your skin without realising. In April this year, a perfect friend of mine asked me to do a photoshoot for her graded exam at college. I was very excited about the offer but had insecurities with my c-section scar. However, I was comfortable being around her as she was very encouraging, which made me forget about how my body looked.
The photos came out beautiful. I decided to write a blog post called ‘The Perfect Body‘ using all the images – which became one of my most popular posts. Sometimes you have to do something out of your comfort zone to grow comfortable in your skin. The fact that I made a post even put a video up on Youtube and still got good comments from friends and family. I realised that I had been very hard on myself instead of embracing the way I am.
What do you do for Fun?
Nobody may know this about me, but I love dancing. Dancing makes me feel free. There are no rules. Just be as creative as you want. Hanging out with friends, even if it’s lunch or just a stroll in the park – I was going to say by the beach, but we are in Scotland.
How will your life be different in a year?
A change in the woman you see right now. I have big goals that I want to achieve in 2020, so to do that, a few things need to change about me and my lifestyle. I want to get married and settle down with a family of my own. I realised that you got to make some tough decisions if you want a specific type of lifestyle. Decisions that will seem selfish to others, even your family.
Sometimes, being selfish is what you need to be to get things done for you. It’s your life. I have decided to stop complaining about things that are out of my control and comparing myself to others—apologising for items that are not my fault and eliminating negative self-talk. All these things can and will affect your mental health. If you are like me or can relate, you will need to start changing your mindset.
Goals For Twenty-Twenty
Get a new Apartment
I feel it’s time to find a new home. I have been in my current apartment for five years, since 2014. It has been fun living in a big apartment. But change is good, and if I want to move forward in life, I have to make a move.
Initially, I planned to complete my theory test and pass it by the end of 2019. However, I only made this decision a few weeks ago. So I think I will leave the whole process to early next year.
Visit the U.S.A. – New York
Visiting New York has always been a dream of mine. I think it’s time to make it come true. If only you guys could see the grin on my face as I write about New York. I am very excited already.
My Big 30th Birthday
Your girl was hitting the Big number – 30 in May 2020. I am terrified of it. I am now a full-grown adult. It means more responsibilities, decision making etc. I don’t have any plans for it yet, but I like surprises, so hopefully, someone who cares about me might throw a surprise for me.
Mum’s 50th Birthday
Yass Queen. My mum was turning 50 in June 2020. Having me as your daughter has been easy, but I want you to know that I appreciate everything you have done. I only wish to be as strong as you are.
Back To College 2020
I want to return to college and complete the Higher National Diploma. I know it will be challenging, but after juggling work and motherhood, I believe I can do it.
Sonia Bakes Cakes 2020
I would like to spend more time setting up my little business. Baking has been a hobby, but if I make something out of it – why not give it a go? Even if I get only one customer, I will be satisfied.