Becoming A Single Parent
Journal,  Reflection Journal,  Single Mum Life

Becoming A Single Parent

Becoming A Single Parent. Hello everyone, I hope you are well. In today’s post, I will be sharing a reflection on becoming a single parent. Many ladies I know who have two or three children and who have just gone through a divorce or whose other partner has left and become a single parent have shared their experiences with me. This is incredibly tragic, but it is the truth that we must face. Unfortunately, having children almost always seems to be why things don’t work out when a couple is dating or married. That is not the way things should be. Put another way, if your marriage or relationship was solid before you had children, there is no reason why it should fail after you have children.

Becoming A Single Parent

Sometimes The End Of A Relationship Is Better For You

Let’s face it, caring for children requires much mental and physical effort. Your personality goes through several transitions as you get older. After having children, you are no longer the person you were before you had them. Your lack of self-assurance and uncertainties will reach a new level that no one can ever comprehend.

Although my ex-partner and I felt pleased about my pregnancy, we didn’t know each other well enough to parent a child together. It happened way too quickly; I found out I was pregnant exactly one month after we started dating each other. Although we made an effort to work things out, there was a lot of negative energy about us, and ultimately, we were unable to salvage the relationship while I was three months pregnant.

It crushed my heart when we ended our relationship, but looking back on it now, I’m glad we did. Just try to picture the hell that I would have been going through. It’s important to remember that there is always a silver lining to every cloud. Putting the blame on yourself and dwelling on your partner’s faults is not helpful.

Accepting The Reality

However, as the adage goes, “life has its script,” and while becoming a single parent was not part of the plan I had envisioned for my future, it did end up happening anyway. A chance for personal development, resiliency, and unanticipated blessings can be found right in the middle of a broken heart and dashed hopes and expectations.

Being a single parent can feel like swimming through unfamiliar waters, especially in the early years. The obligations might be overpowering, and you may find that your thoughts are preoccupied with concerns about your ability to provide for your child. However, it is essential to keep in mind that sometimes a breakup might turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

Reflecting on my journey, I’ve concluded that growing up with children is a monumental endeavour that takes physical stamina and emotional fortitude. I’ve come to this conclusion as a result of my own experiences. Due to the process, you will undergo a personal transformation, forcing you to face inadequacies and concerns you were unaware of.

Revenge Is A Sweet Thing

Being a single parent may be an experience that is, at times, difficult and demanding to go through. On other occasions, it may end up being an extremely rewarding experience. It is not unusual to receive the feeling that you are travelling this path all by yourself, with little support or assistance accessible at any given time. This perception is expected because of the nature of the journey. Nevertheless, it is essential to remember that you can accomplish beautiful things, not just for yourself but also for your children.

You must always keep this in your mind as an essential consideration. You will have a better chance of achieving your objectives if you make the most of all the resources at your disposal, regardless of whether those resources are financial, emotional, or of some other kind. Even though it’s normal to feel anger or resentment against a former partner who has abandoned you and your children, it’s crucial not to allow these feelings to dominate you. Your ex-partner has done you and your children a disservice.

Instead, you should direct your energy towards making a better life for yourself and the children you’re raising. It is ultimately up to you to make the choices that are in your family’s best interest, even though your ex-partner may feel regret and want to remain engaged in your life after deciding to be with someone else. You have the ability, as a parent, to provide a setting for your children that is both safe and conducive to their development.

The Miracle Hiding In Plain Sight

My pregnancy, which was unexpected and happened so quickly, was a defining moment in my life. It highlighted the fractures in my relationship, which continued to widen as the pressure of pending motherhood increased throughout our lives together. Despite the anguish of parting ways, I see it as a vital step towards a happier, more fulfilled life for my child and me. This is even though it hurt so much at the time.

After a breakup, it can be tempting to nurse grudges and point fingers at one another, but in my experience, doing so merely makes moving on more drawn-out. Instead, I’ve decided to concentrate on the bright side of things. Sometimes, the end of a relationship can be seen as a gift because it paves the way for a new beginning free of the baggage of a connection doomed to fail.

Gracefully Rising Above All Others

They say that revenge is a dish that is best enjoyed when it is served ice-cold. My “revenge” comes in the form of the quiet strength that comes from persevering despite the challenges I face as a single parent. It is in the late hours spent striving towards a brighter future, the drive to establish a secure and caring home for my child, and the resiliency that emerges from being confronted with hardship.

I’ve realised that the best way to get revenge is to live my life to the fullest. I’ve established a network that not only helps me survive as a single parent but also demonstrates my power and capability as a result of actively seeking out and using the available assistance. It demonstrates my ability to prevail despite adverse conditions and that the unconditional love and consistent environment I give to my child are incomparable.

Single Parent Advice

The change from having a helpful partner to being on one’s own with children can be a huge one that calls for a great deal of adjustment. You must have faith in yourself and look for the appropriate assistance. You must put aside your pride and think less of yourself.

Now is the time when your children should be your top priority, and if you put their needs ahead of all other considerations, you will be in good shape. Remember that we are all human beings who can only do the best we can, depending on our experiences. Sometimes, life takes a turn that we do not see coming; all we can do is do our best to deal with it.

If you are going through a tough time, such as divorce, and need legal assistance, consider contacting an attorney local to you. They can help guide you through the legal process and ensure you make informed decisions. Remember, taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your children, so seeking professional help and developing an interest to Learn more about Specialist Divorce services beforehand is a wise move. Stay strong and keep moving forward.

Life has a way of rerouting our routes, and often, the most significant progress can emerge from the ashes of a broken relationship. This is because life has a way of rerouting our paths. Because of this, I want all of you great single mothers and fathers out there to remember that your bravery, persistence, and love will determine your fate and the future of the wonderful family you’ve created for yourself and your children.

I hope you enjoyed that.

Talk soon

Working with Strong women, I help empower women not to give up on their goals and find true happiness within themselves. #lifestyle #womenempowerment #selfcare

25 Comments

  • Katie Frazier

    Wow mama you seem so strong! I wish the best for you! Your kids will definitely realize that mama was a strong woman.

  • Debra Roberts

    Relationships are tough and while I admire when people “try to work it out”; the raw truth is, if you have to “try” and it’s not organic, it’s already over. We put too much pressure on ourselves to do what is perceived to be the admirable thing, we lose all sense of who we are in the process.

  • Luna S

    This was well written. It is a bummer things didn’t work out but as you said sometimes it is for the best overall not only for you but for the child as well.

  • Clio

    I love your honesty when describing the whole situation, and I believe it can inspire and support other women in the same situation. Raising kids does change how we see life and our perspective, and it is tiring and exhausting – yours was a brave choice and you’re giving a great example to your daughter!

  • Live Learn Better

    We live in a world where change is constant, and sometimes it is for our own good. Letting go of a toxic relationship is definitely a blessing and no matter how one sugarcoat it, there can never be progress in a chaotic situation.
    Wishing you all the very best.

  • Izzy

    That’s so true what you said about a partner regretting his decision to leave. My dad left us when we were 5 and 7, and I can tell he much much later has regrets. He wrote me that he wants all five of his daughters (from three marriages) at his 70th birthday party but I don’t know if I feel comfortable with that. I’m not angry, but it’s definitely weird for me. I do feel sorry for him, but he did leave and his regrets aren’t my fault. Single parents like my mom are superheroes. I’ll see what my mom says about it, I guess!
    x
    Isabella
    http://www.IsabellaDavid.com
    IG @IsabellaDavidVintage

  • Tracy @ Cleland Clan

    Toxic relationships are never good for children. The best gift you can give your child is a loving, stable home whether its with one parent or two– a home in which the other parent is never demeaned or criticized. Vent to your family and friends when your little one isn’t around if you need to, but not in his or her presence. You’ve got this!

  • Snehal

    Um I have a friend who got married then got pregnant then divorced. Now she is raising the child on her own. I would like to share this post with her. 🙂

  • Subhashish Roy

    It must be tough initially but really challenging and satisfying as you move ahead. As you mentioned, many a times it is a blessing. Best days ahead is my wish for you and the sweet little one.

  • KeshiaRichmond

    Interesting take on on single parenting. There are tremendous challenges to raising kids whether it is done with one or more parents. I’m sure there are people who will reasonate with your perspective.

  • Melody

    You have a beautiful daughter and she deserves to grow up in a happy, positive house. Do your best to provide that for her and you will both be rewarded even through the more difficult times. Best wishes for you both.

  • Nero

    One of my business partners is a single mom of 3 kids. She’s extremely strong and she left her husband for great reasons. She’s much happier now than before.

  • Scott J DeNicola

    It’s not good for the child to be in a family where there is unhappiness. You can only do your best and provide love. It isn’t easy but sometimes it is best. That baby is adorable by the way!

  • Elizabeth | Tired Mom Supermom

    I can’t even imagine. I guess the best thing to do is just take it one step at a time and try not to stress!

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