Becoming A Single Parent. Hello everyone, I hope you are well. In today’s post, I will be sharing a reflection on becoming a single parent. I have heard many stories from women with 2 or 3 kids who have recently divorced or the other partner had left and had become a single parent. This is very heartbreaking, but it is the reality. Sadly, having children always seems to be the reason things don’t work when you’re dating or married. It really shouldn’t be like that. In other words, if your marriage or relationship was stable before the kids, why should it end after the children?
Becoming A Single Parent
Sometimes A Breakup Is A Blessing
Let’s face it, raising children is hard work, mentally and physically. A lot of things change in your personality. You are not the same person as you were before you had children. Your insecurities and lack of confidence will grow to a new level that nobody will ever understand.
When I was pregnant, my partner and I were very excited about it, but we hardly knew each other well enough to raise a child together. The pregnancy was too fast – I fell pregnant one month after we got together. Although we tried to work it out, there was a lot of negative energy around us, and we collapsed when I was three months pregnant.
It was heartbreaking when we broke up, but now, I am happy we broke up. Imagine the hell I would have gone through. Sometimes it’s good to look at the positive side of a breakup. Blaming yourself and hating on the other partner will not help at all.
Revenge Is Sweet
Raising your children and working hard to achieve your goal is the only revenge you will ever get as a single parent. You do this by grabbing all the support that is available to you. Your ex-partner will have a lot of regrets and feel useless that he left you and his children. He might even want to be in their life. After all, he left a beautiful, already made family for someone else.
Single Parent Advice
My advice is to take a chill pill. It is a vast transition from having a partner to support – being all alone with children. This is why believing in yourself and taking all the proper support is essential. It will help if you put your ego and selfish attitude aside. Things are different now as you have children as a no1 priority. You will be fine if you put your children first before anything else.
If you are or know anyone who may be going through that is going through a similar situation, I hope this post has helped. You must understand that we are all humans and can only do our best based on experiences. Sometimes life does what life wants, and nothing can be done other than rolling with it.
I hope you enjoyed that.
Imee Malabonga - The Aging Millennial
Relationships may come and go, but I’m glad you have such an amazing perspective about single parenthood. Your daughter is adorable!
Wow mama you seem so strong! I wish the best for you! Your kids will definitely realize that mama was a strong woman.
Relationships are tough and while I admire when people “try to work it out”; the raw truth is, if you have to “try” and it’s not organic, it’s already over. We put too much pressure on ourselves to do what is perceived to be the admirable thing, we lose all sense of who we are in the process.
This was well written. It is a bummer things didn’t work out but as you said sometimes it is for the best overall not only for you but for the child as well.
I love your honesty when describing the whole situation, and I believe it can inspire and support other women in the same situation. Raising kids does change how we see life and our perspective, and it is tiring and exhausting – yours was a brave choice and you’re giving a great example to your daughter!
Live Learn Better
We live in a world where change is constant, and sometimes it is for our own good. Letting go of a toxic relationship is definitely a blessing and no matter how one sugarcoat it, there can never be progress in a chaotic situation.
Wishing you all the very best.
Erica (The Prepping Wife)
I admire and respect your honesty in this post. That’s never an easy subject to talk about. But you are clearly setting a great example for your kids, being a hardworking mom and being successful. Keep it up!
That’s so true what you said about a partner regretting his decision to leave. My dad left us when we were 5 and 7, and I can tell he much much later has regrets. He wrote me that he wants all five of his daughters (from three marriages) at his 70th birthday party but I don’t know if I feel comfortable with that. I’m not angry, but it’s definitely weird for me. I do feel sorry for him, but he did leave and his regrets aren’t my fault. Single parents like my mom are superheroes. I’ll see what my mom says about it, I guess!
Tracy @ Cleland Clan
Toxic relationships are never good for children. The best gift you can give your child is a loving, stable home whether its with one parent or two– a home in which the other parent is never demeaned or criticized. Vent to your family and friends when your little one isn’t around if you need to, but not in his or her presence. You’ve got this!
I can just imagine a life of bringing up a child alone. It can get hectic sometimes.
Sometimes living in a peaceful environment is the best thing for you and your baby!
I really appreciate you sharing this story. Raising kids is so so hard, and it takes a lot of courage and strength to do it alone.
I admire your guts and honesty and are being real, vulnerable and open about what is going on in your life. Continue to write and do great things thanks
Um I have a friend who got married then got pregnant then divorced. Now she is raising the child on her own. I would like to share this post with her. 🙂
Ashley | One Journey Away
You make a good point about breaking up being a blessing, especially if it’s a toxic relationship. Must be a tough situation to be in regardless.
It must be tough initially but really challenging and satisfying as you move ahead. As you mentioned, many a times it is a blessing. Best days ahead is my wish for you and the sweet little one.
Always better to be happy and single. And always better for a child to be happy with a happy single parent, than to be with unhappy parents. Your little girl is gorgeous.
Interesting take on on single parenting. There are tremendous challenges to raising kids whether it is done with one or more parents. I’m sure there are people who will reasonate with your perspective.
You have a beautiful daughter and she deserves to grow up in a happy, positive house. Do your best to provide that for her and you will both be rewarded even through the more difficult times. Best wishes for you both.
One of my business partners is a single mom of 3 kids. She’s extremely strong and she left her husband for great reasons. She’s much happier now than before.
Scott J DeNicola
It’s not good for the child to be in a family where there is unhappiness. You can only do your best and provide love. It isn’t easy but sometimes it is best. That baby is adorable by the way!
omoh felix peters
thats true Sometimes a break-up Is A Blessing. Some time good things happen out of bad things rejction though are most times redirection. Lovely one sonia
I’m glad you can make it work, all props mom keep it up
Elizabeth | Tired Mom Supermom
I can’t even imagine. I guess the best thing to do is just take it one step at a time and try not to stress!