Lifestyle,  Single Mum's Life

Coming To Terms With My Disabilities

Hey guys, this post is about me and my disabilities. I am deaf – I wear two digital hearing aids all day, every day.  Lost part of my right arm in a car crash accident in Nigeria when I was 5 – 6 years old. I was 10 years old when my parents notice something odd about my hearing. I remember not being able to have a conversation, increasing the T.V volume up to 100. It made me very shy and quiet too because I couldn’t hear anybody and no one was bothered to talk to me. So my parents went to have me checked out. The doctors could not confirm the cause of loss of my hearing but said that it was likely to be from birth or from the car crash.

Coming To Terms With My Disabilities:

School

Growing up with these conditions have been extremely difficult, especially at school. Let’s face it – a lot of things happens at school! Why? I think it’s because the schools are students playground. It’s a place where they can feel a sense of independence away from home, the parents and rules. So they feel a sense of freedom and does whatever they want to do. The sad thing about it was – nothing could stop them. I mean, you do not go jail for bullying other kids, do you? You will, however eventually get an exemption from school but that’s better news for the bullies because they do not like school anyway.

Blaming

Some people would blame the parents and some would blame the school but its never the kid’s fault? Can someone explain this to me, please? I personally think it’s a choice! Being a bully is a choice! Yes, things at home might not be great or things might be super great and you just decide to make other people’s lives difficult because you’re bored or you do not have confidence in yourself?

Bullying

Anyway, back to the post. Sorry guys, I take bullying very seriously because I was bullied at school and I reported it but nothing was done. It made things even worst. Not only the bullies actions –  it affected my confidence too. Think about it. I was getting attacked, I begged for help once, and I got shut down?! Now you want me to keep asking for help? Where do you think I will get the confidence to ask again? How can I trust you? God knows what the bullying was about. I know I was a good student. Never have I ever looked for trouble. Some say it was a racist act, a discrimination act, some even blame the victims for not standing up to the bullies. Sometimes, I wonder if bullies get bullied too!

Lack of Confidence

So bullies played a big part in my lack of confidence. I was a very shy and quiet kid who had big dreams to become their own boss. It felt like it was my fault because I have one arm and I am deaf.  I started hating myself, feeling lonely etc but I had good parental support from my parents. That was what kept me going. Eventually, the bullying stopped and I made good friends.

Coming To Terms With My Disabilities:

Gaining Confidence

Now, it was time to rebuild confidence, which took many years going back and forth and trying different things. Everything changed in 2010 – 2011 when I won and was elected as the Disabled Student Officer at my college. During my time in the position, I was able to find confidence, fight for what I believed in, and for the first time in my life I felt strong and proud to of my disability. I had a voice and my voice was heard. I successfully progressed and joined the NUS Disabled Students Committee and met a lot of powerful people with different disabilities and background.

NUS (National Union of Students)

The organisation had power and a voice to make real changes. I actually thought I had it worse and I was the only one who’s got 2 disabilities. I was excited to meet other disabled people too. For the first time in my life, I felt ‘normal’. I was in a place where I did not have to explain anything to anyone about why my arm is the way it is or why you have to speak a bit slower to me. I felt safe and happy. There were some couples, married with kids families there too. It was very inspiring. I realised that I can do anything I want and be who I want to be, there’s nothing stopping expect one thing – Me.

Coming To Terms With My Disabilities: Starting Again

So I had a bit of confidence before that experience but after it, I was a new person and no one could believe that it was me. The bullies started being friendly to me. Everyone was complimenting on my new found self-confidence. You want to stir at my arm, go on the stir. I don’t care anymore. You want to talk about me – go for it, sweetheart. I don’t care. Don’t you dare think about putting a finger on me or you will go to jail? I had all the confidence in the world and started wearing short sleeves tops, and short dresses more than ever as I was confident in my own skin. I was walking with my head up high and felt nothing but powerful.

Advice

If you are going through a tough time accepting who you are, I want to you know that you are beautiful and perfect just the way you are. Do not let anybody demons affect your life. Just keep doing you. Think positive, smile and laugh. At the end of the day, you will go home to those who love everything about you.

 

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