How Does HIV Affect My Dating Life
HIV Series

How Does HIV Affect My Dating Life?

How does HIV affect my dating life? Hello everyone, I hope you are well. In today’s post, I will be sharing a reflection on How HIV Affect My Dating Life. I will start by saying thank you for the support in my previous post – Being Pregnant With HIV. Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) is an infection that attacks the body’s immune system, specifically the white blood cells called CD4 cells. HIV destroys these CD4 cells, weakening a person’s immunity against opportunistic infections, such as tuberculosis and fungal infections, severe bacterial infections and some cancers. – World Health Organisation.

How Does HIV Affect My Dating Life?


I have not had the best of luck since the diagnosis. Within the first two years, I had not been dating because, OK, I am going, to be honest with you – I was scared of sex. Also, I had fears that I would e mistreated and decided to stay away from the dating scene, which was very difficult because I am still a beautiful woman, and many men are attracted to me.

I made all the effort I could to make myself less pretty by wearing a rubbish outfit, having messy hair, staying home all the time and adding weight. However, you know the saying’ Black Don’t Crack? Yup that still stands. So it didn’t matter what I did. I’m still beautiful.


When guys approach me, I am so uncomfortable now because I do not know what they are after, and I don’t know what to say because I feel like they will never understand what it is.

I have had some experience with a guy walking away the second I told him about the virus, a guy who understands but only takes advantage and walks away. Someone even said he likes me, but e can’t date me because he doesn’t want to die.

These experiences are very heartbreaking. It makes me feel like I am a danger to society. It is challenging for some people to understand that the virus is not a death sentence again.

I have learned from these experiences that depending on the individual, some people will date you as long as the virus stays between them. Some people might like you and say they don’t care what anyone else thinks and say. It then depends on you to decide which one you want to date.

Advice On Dating

The only advice I can give when it comes to dating is to disclose when you are ready. Date each other before committing to a relationship. If you like somebody and think it leads to something serious, you won’t know how they feel until you tell them.

Disclosure can be very hard, mainly when you have just met them. You start feeling for them or don’t want the relationship to end. However, it is essential to disclose that you are protecting your partner and yourself.

To me, disclosing is how I get to know whether or not the relationship is healthy. If someone says, ‘I am HIV positive’, most people like to believe that, but the person who said disclose could be lying or want to get your views out of it. However, I have learned that honestly doesn’t matter nowadays, but this is somebody’s health we are talking about. As long as you are on treatment and undetectable, it’s your choice to disclose by law.

One thing to remember is HIV does not define your life. It doesn’t define you as a man or a woman.

Live your life!

I hope you enjoyed that.

Talk soon

Working with Strong women, I help empower women not to give up on their goals and find true happiness within themselves. #lifestyle #womenempowerment #selfcare

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