Learn How To Love Yourself. Hello everyone, I hope you are well. In today’s post, I will be sharing the importance of learning how to love yourself. Back in February, I wrote Five Things I Love About Myself. I’m sure you have read this sentence many times: first, you need to love yourself, right? But what does that mean? Is it about getting you a hot chocolate when you are cold? Is it about getting you a new dress when you feel like it? Or Is it doing whatever you want when you want it? Or Is it about putting warm clothes on when it’s freezing outside? Loving Yourself Means Learning To Treat You Like A Loving Parent Would With His Child
Learn How To Love Yourself
Treat Yourself Like A Loving Parent Would With His Child
When you are an adult and assume you are, you still have an Inner Child inside you. These are your emotions. At that level, you still react like a child of 3-4 years old. Your feelings can not get older or mature. But you can get mature. You can learn how to respect them and how to handle them. You can learn how to take care of this Inner Child.
When you are unaware of your Inner Child, you try to live in an adult world like a 4-year-old boy or girl. You feel alone, afraid of the big nasty world outside, not knowing what to do, where to ask for help, or how to protect yourself. This is a complicated way of doing it. You will always feel afraid, fearful, doubtful, and tired. It is hard to try to survive as a child in a grown-up world. You will feel angry and scared most of the time and lost.
Why Is that?
Because nobody takes care of that Little Child inside you.
Let’s say your name is Charlotte. You are 42 years old. Inside you live the little Charlotte. She’s four. Little Charlotte will feel overlooked when you are busy in the outside world, taking care of other people, doing business, getting around, and doing a thousand things every day. You will be exhausted every night and cry in bed when you’re always running to help others and ensure their needs are fulfilled. Sometimes you will get temper tantrums. You will feel outraged without reason (but still, there is one, a big one!).
All these big emotions are attempts from your Inner Child to get your attention.
Imagine you have a little four-year-old girl named Charlotte besides your children, husband, colleagues, parents, and friends. Nobody ever notices her. Nobody takes care of her. Whenever she tries to say something and get some attention, you shout to her, “Shut up!”. You say, “I have to take care of my parents, my work, my husband, my paperwork, my friends, my other children, my house… I don’t have time for you!”
How do you think she will feel? What do you think she will do? First, she will try to get your attention by showing big emotions. She will cry a lot and scream and shout; maybe she’s getting aggressive from time to time. You think you’re angry at the outside world, but Your Inner Child is angry with YOU! She’s sad and mad because you don’t care about her! You act as if she doesn’t exist! Nothing is worse than working as if our Inner Child doesn’t exist. This means trying to live as if WE don’t exist.
Being Loyal To Yourself
The worst feeling in the world is unloyal to one’s self. Nothing is worse than this!
How often did we ignore what we felt to please someone else? How often did we say to our Inner Child, “Shut up, you are not important, the other one is far more important than you are, go away, I don’t want to hear you, I don’t want to see you”? Awful. Isn’t doing this every time we let come to the desire of the other one before ours?
This little Charlotte inside, what will she do? She will give up after a while. After trying a long time to show her emotions, she will give up. She will get very tired of all this, saying: “It doesn”t take care of me, I’m not who I’m it”, and she”will get depressed.
Of course, you will think you get depressed because of others, your work, your children, and your husband or parents. It is nobody. You have to learn how to take care of this Inner Child suffering from your lack of attention to her.
When getting depressed, things still don’t change left to catch your attention: little Charlotte will get sick. Or she will get into an accident. Maybe that way, the adult Charlotte will finally learn to give attention to her Inner Child, which is as accurate (if not more) as a child of flesh and blood.
Be A Loving Parent To Yourself
It would help if you learned how to be a loving parent for yourself.
What does that mean?
First, you need to develop an Inner Mother. If you were lucky and had a loving, caring mother, you can take her as an example. Otherwise, you need to invent, to create this Inner Mother, your feminine, caring energy. Every time you have an emotion, your Inner Mother should ask your Inner Child: “What happens, my darling?” Listen t” what your Inner Child has to say. Then you go on with the dialogue. Inner Mother says: “Come here” Come in my arms, and I love you as you are. I love you with what you feel.”
Doing that, the heaviness of the emotions will drop pretty much. Then you say these words: “I understand”. These words are essential because we don’t feel don’t “normal” having the feelings we have, and we try to ignore or suppress them, which makes them heavier. “I understand”, and, my darling, come here in your Mothers arms; I love you.”
Stay with” these words and feelings for a while, and then ask:” What do “you need?”
Whatever”the Child answers, you say: “We will see a”k this of your Father”.
And she” starts the task of your Inner Father, who is there to protect and act for you in the outside world. You would never send a four-year-old asking for a raise at work or getting to resolve a conflict at school or with the neighbours, would you? So why do you try it? Send out your Inner Father to care for whatever you have to do in the outside world. Your Inner Father is your male energy, enabling you to make decisions, take action, follow your inner guidance (which is located in your Inner Child, also called Intuition) and manifest your child’s world.
Explaining Things Further…
When your child has a need, for instance, to call someone or to go somewhere to arrange something, imagine that your Inner Child stays at home with his mother, who takes care of his feelings (“I understand”, and you’re if you’re and that” your Inner Father (another part of your being) goes out there to act. Your Inner Father is that part of you which can handle stress, take action, arrange conflicts and all other stuff that has to do with the outside world. If that part is missing because you didn’t have a role model when you were little, you will have to create and develop it.
Of course, your Inner Child, Mother and Father are all parts of you. It is all you. It is just a model to understand what is happening inside you and how you can learn to love yourself.
Loving yourself is listening to your Inner Child, taking his emotions seriously, understanding what he feels and taking action in the desired direction. And loving yourself is having this dialogue with yourself every morning when you open your eyes, every evening when you go to bed, and every time you have an emotion.
Loving yourself is building a strong inner connection with yourself.
It is creating your own loving family inside you. You will never feel alone anymore. You are already three! Call it your Trinity. From now on, you go with your Inner Family wherever you go. You are not alone, You are loved, and you are protected, and You listen to yourself and take care of that precious little child that has been waiting so long to get your attention and love.
This is inner healing.
I hope you enjoy that.