One Year On Lockdown Reflection. Hello everyone, I hope you are well. In today’s post, I will reflect on One year of Lockdown. 23rd March 2021 marked a year of the Global Pandemic. I had done a Six-month Lockdown Reflection previously, and I thought I should write a round-up post about everything and how it had affected my family and me. I can’t believe a whole Globe can be Lockdown for an entire year! This is the first time to experience it, and I will never forget it. Like everything else, everything in life, there is either a blessing or a lesson.
Before you go on, I want to share an abundance of gratitude to all our crucial workers, doctors and Nurses who have risked their lives, freedom and family to ensure we are safe and fed and keep the world moving.
One Year On Lockdown Reflection
As we went on Lockdown, I lost my dream job at a law firm. I was immediately into depression. You all don’t understand, like, this was my dream position. I have worked extremely hard since I left Secondary school back in 2006 to work in an office environment co-operate position. Plus, this was in a successful Law firm. Working for a law firm was a big deal for a woman like me, with no law background whatsoever. I felt proud and powerful that I was working with professional criminals, properties, and civil lawyers.
I was very proud of myself as I woke up early with a happy heart and a big smile in the morning just because I was going to work. Put on a pair of trousers, a blouse, some heels, blazers, and a coat over it, let’s not forget my overfilled handbag. I was taking my daughter to school. Grab a nice hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows on the way to work. Opening up the office and start working. Taking an hour and a half for lunch, I went to a nice restaurant, sometimes KFC.
I was walking proudly with my head up high back to the office. Then after work, I head to pick up my daughter from school and head home. I loved the lifestyle I was living. It was a very short one, but I loved it. It was the best experience I have ever had.
The Bright Side
Let’s look at the bright side of this reflection, and I used the Lockdown as an opportunity to work on my blog. I revamped and transformed everything on the blog and am proud of it. I learnt new things I never knew about blogging, and the big one; I have worked with CEO ladies and more companies than I have ever worked in my whole life. This is an excellent reflection, as it makes me feel empowered.
My family was a mess. During the Lockdown, my dad had gone to work in Nigeria, leaving my mum and my younger siblings alone. My mum was stressed out and even had emotional and mental meltdowns. We weren’t allowed to visit anybody, but I tried to be there for her by calling and listening to her talk. My relationship with my daughter and relationship grew more assertive. It was hard to keep her entertained while worrying about what might happen or my next move.
Then BLM protests started. It was a lot to deal with. I am not going to lie; the chaos has scarred me for life. I hold my daughter’s hands tight when I take her to school and back home, everywhere we go. Sometimes, when the police car drives past me, I panic and freeze until the siren stops. Although, as a black African woman who has lived in the United Kingdom majority of my life, I have experienced racism. I have been or seen or heard of a situation where the police killed me or someone.
Like I was confused, these people were supposed to protect us, not kill us. And the different stories from survivors’ and victims’ families were devasting and heartbreaking. I just couldn’t. A policeman shoots a black man every day on the news, social media, and radio stations.
As if the world was not going through enough, Nigeria, my own country. Our security officials were taking matters into their own hands and killing their people in their own country. Like at this point, my mental health was off the roof. So many deaths every single day, and there was no way out. My mum couldn’t take it anymore and wanted us to leave the country. I nearly left the UK. I changed my mind at the last minute because, based on my condition, my daughter, my health issues, and everything that was going on was not the right time.
Please read: I am Nigerian, and My Country Needs You.
The Bright Side
On the bright side of this reflection, it brought my family together, and we were in contact with family members back home in Nigeria and the USA. Unfortunately, it took a tragic event to pick up the phone and call families member back home, but at the end of the day, we now know that we are there for each other if needed. I also got closer to my biological father and younger siblings, whom I had never met. Hopefully, when things are a lot better and safer to travel, I plan to visit Nigeria and, this time, visit my younger siblings.
The Lockdown has put our health to the test. I am a young single mother living with HIV during a pandemic. Can you all imagine what I went through? I had stopped taking my medication due to stress, and sometimes I took five per day instead of one per day. I was just worried. Like, what if I caught Covid? How does it affect HIV? I didn’t even want to know the answer to that. I wanted to wake up, and it was all a dream.
There was no way out. You are reminded of the reality of what is happening everywhere you go. There was social distancing, face masks, and sensitisers. I became more aware of the environment than what you are doing. For example, going to the shop to buy milk, instead, you are looking around you to make sure you are standing 2 meters apart from everything and everyone in the store. Do you understand how that can affect mental health? Taking Sasha to the park was another nightmare. Parents had wipes to clean the playground instruments before the kids went on them.
The Bright Side
On the bright side of this reflection, it was a perfect opportunity to look after me by practising self-care. I listened to music, read books, wrote in my journal, watched comedy movies, and ate junk food and snacks. Wine, there was a lot of wine! However, I have decided to control my health and make sure I can live a long and happy lifestyle from now on. I think there should be a free counselling section for all Covid related mental health issues. Due to Lockdown, the domestic violence rate increased, the self-harm rate increased, and the suicide rate increased. People developed eating disorders, sexual abuse rate increased. I could go on and on.
Thankfully, Covid vaccines are out, and I have taken mine (23rd March 2021). My health is back in control, as well as my mental health. Sasha-Ann is adjusting slowly to being back in school. She doesn’t like it anymore. There are some restrictions in classes that she is not comfortable with. I assure her that things will improve, but it will take a little while. My mum has decided to move to Nigeria, and she’s moving next week with my little sister. That means I’m here all alone with my daughter. It’s scary, to be honest because I have always had my mother around if anything happens, and now she’s going. I’ve got no one else to ask for help. I have no friends, either. Due to the pandemic, making new friends or finding somebody to trust will be hard.
However, I have decided to go back to college to study HNC Administration and Information Technology. I have applied, and I am waiting on an offer. I am excited to go back, and I believe this will bring some joy to my life, keeping me very busy, and I will share my journey with you on the blog.
Now is The Time
If I took anything from the Lockdown and this reflection, it would be to live your life. Do not take anything for granted. Stay away from negativity. 2020 we were fighting for our future. 2021 we are taking what is ours. In 2022 we will be rebuilding our world. Life is like a long maze that has no end to its journey. Change your mindset, and the rest will follow. No more excuses, no more doubts, no more worrying about what people think. Tell that person if you are angry with someone, and sort it out. If you can’t sort it out, move on and move on quickly, do not waste another minute worrying about things you can not control or solve.
Spend more time creating memories with your loved ones. Enjoy the peace of mind you have at home. Set your goals and make them your priorities. Work hard, and do not get comfortable or settle for less. Look after yourself, and get all the tests you need to get done. Make sure your health is on top of the game.
I hope you enjoyed this reflection. I enjoyed writing it.