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Lifestyle,  Single Mum's Life

The Perfect Body

In today’s society, both men and women, even children are being pressured to get ‘The Perfect Body’. This has been going on for a long time and it happens every single day. It has also caused mental illness and suicide. Whether you are a multi-millionaire or a cleaner. The sad part about body shaming is that people who body shame other people are the ones who are not happy in their own skin. What’s worst – the victims believe them.

Body Shaming

Body shaming falls under the term ‘Abuse’. Yes, that’s right- ABUSE! Calling someone ‘fat’, ‘skinny’, ‘disgusting’ etc is an act of Abuse. We are all humans, we all have insecurities. So why should we body shame each other? Mothers with baby weight are being forced to hit the gym immediately after giving birth, men are in competition against the title of ‘Most Handsome Man of the year’ and kids? Kids are just living life by what they see from adults on Social Media.

There’s A Difference Between Giving Advice and Body Shaming

It’s one to advise someone to lose weight due to health issues or just giving a piece of friendly advice when it’s genuine. When someone is super proud of their body or have built up a sign of courage to show off their curve, stretch marks, etc and then constantly being told to take the picture down due to negative comments regarding how they look, that’s when the body shaming occurs.

Stop Body Shaming

The only way to stop body shaming is to be proud of your body. Haters will stop hating when they realise they can not victimise you. I am proud of my body, my stretch marks, my c-section leftovers, my disability, my curve, most especially my smile. All the scars that are printed on my body, I am proud of them all. It shows where I have been, how I far I have come and where I am going. I have the perfect body that anyone can ever have. There’s nothing missing in my body, there’s nothing to change.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Think about it. Nobody wakes up in the morning and look in the mirror and say to themselves, ‘Oh My God, I’m fat.’ You wouldn’t think are fat unless you are told, you wouldn’t think your stretch marks make you look weird unless you are told. You certainly would not think you are ugly unless you are told you are ugly. That is what body shaming does to mental health.

Only I Decide

Unless you are the all mighty creator (God), keep your opinion to yourself. It’s my body, you have nothing on me. I am uniquely designed. Only I decide if there are changes that need to be done, only I decide if I’m fat or skinny, only I decide to I eat and don’t eat, and only I decide what I want to do with my body. It’s my choice. My happiness starts with me and no one else. As long as I am healthy and happy, I have the perfect body.

Check my recent photoshoot with Essence Imagery on my Youtube Channel 

31 Comments

  • Karen

    This is such an important issue and I just hope that someday no young woman ever has to feel ashamed in that way. Thanks for such a great blog post.

  • Alisa Infanti

    I love this article because there is so much truth. Nothing makes a woman look more beautiful than wearing confidence.

  • Thuy

    It’s tough because I know a ton of people who wrap insults in compliments. Like they’d point out something nice about you and then criticize you all in the same breath. It sucks because they truly think they’re being helpful. My favorite recent saying is you are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress all at once.

    • Erica (The Prepping Wife)

      I love this! Especially the ‘who died and made you god’ kind of line at the end. I feel empowered reading this, honestly! Because it reminds me that I am exactly who I should be, and how I look is my own choice. Everyone, especially women, need to read this and know it’s ok to be comfortable in our own skin.

  • Lifewithsonia

    Thank you all for your positive comments. I am so glad it is passing the right message as well as inspiring. Body shaming is everywhere, and although there has been lots of campaign promoting body confidence, there is still a long way to go. My daughter is due to start school (primary 1) after the summer holidays and I am extremely worried about how she’s going to react to the things society throws at her. She’s a very bright, confidence and smart little girl and I don’t want that to change. I thought rather than sitting, worrying about it, I should do something about it, share it and hopeful when she’s old enough she’ll come back to it.

    My advice is to not listen to body shaming but to embrace it. At the end of the day, people only act negatively out of jealousy. There’s something so special about you that people see, that you don’t. So whether you lose weight or add weight and get plastic surgery, people will always find something to talk about. Even when there’s nothing reasonable to talk about, they will turn that around and make it reasonable. Do you understand? It could be something so stupid that shouldn’t matter at all, like the sound you make when you drink a glass of water but if someone points that out, and make a big deal out it, that’s when everyone gets involved. So just live your life. As long as your happy and healthy, there are people who love you. So instead of feeling down about yourself, ask yourself, what do I have that people find so fascinating to get jealous about? When you find it – ROCK IT.

    Sonia x

  • Geez Louise

    I wish I could love this post more but I don’t think it’s possible. No one should have to feel shame about their body. Although I’m not 100% happy with my body right now, I will not let anyone make me like I am less than worthy of love or respect! Preach lady xxx

    • Kay

      Thank you for this post! I really needed to hear this perspective “I have the perfect body”. “There’s nothing to change”. I’ve heard about loving our body in different types of ways but your words today, your perspective is exactly what I needed to hear. It really hit home that I’m not anyone else. Who told me that my body isn’t perfect. Its perfect for me. I have children and because of this it’s changed. I am so grateful for that. Thank you so much!!!

  • Live Learn Better

    I like the last point…”Only I decide.” I have told people to be very careful on the amount of power given to others over their lives and aspirations.
    I have seen very health obese people and seen very sick skinny individuals.
    As long as you are comfortable in your own skin…don’t be bothered, the world will get used to it.

  • Snehal

    Thanks for coming out with this post! Body shaming has been increasing day by day. The media also puts a lot of pressure on us to have a certain kind of body. 😕 Btw you are beautiful! 😊

  • Nyxie

    The perfect body does not exist!

    I wish I could scream at every person who has ever shamed me for my body, both large and small. Body shaming and judging each other’s bodies have such a detrimental effect on our emotional and mental health.

    Such an important post, and addressed so well.

    – Nyxie

    http://www.nyxiesnook.com

  • Claire

    This is beautiful. I don’t feel 100% comfortable in my body at the moment but thankfully I have not received any negativity about my body. Except from myself.

    Maybe I should take note of body shaming myself x

  • Jen

    I don’t want to go on a social media rant…BUT I was scrolling through Instagram the other week and every single picture depressed me. Bikinis and perfect bodies EVERYWHERE. I looked in the mirror and thought, god, I am really abnormal…I am fatter than two of those put together. I have a relative who is really bad in the body shaming department. Not even a ‘hello’, just a ‘put on a bit of timber have you?’…

    I used to ignore it when I weighed 8 stone but as I got older and don’t weigh 8 stone anymore it proper aggrevates and gets to me. It’s not constructive and my weight is nobody else’s business but my own.

    So I’m getting sick of the unrealistic reality of social media and my own family tbf. Struck a chord with me this post did. Thank you for sharing…very well written.

  • Mayuri Patel

    A much needed article as many people frown and ridicule someone because of their body shape. It is becoming an epidemic. I’ve also noticed how some shop and store assistants will not help ‘fat’ people with clothes trial and super thin ones will a team of them helping them.

  • Trish Veltman

    It’s such a worry, trying to raise children to be strong and confident people happy in their own selves. In our family we focus on eating healthily because it makes you strong to do the things you love doing, like swimming etc.

  • daisy andrea

    So powerful and much needed. I have been suffering from body shaming for many years and it is such a debilitating issue among women. thanks for writing such a powerful blog post!

  • Kendra Nix

    Listen I have had thick thighs since birth and learned to love them. WHY!?!? These thighs say I’m strong, beautiful, can defend myself, and can take on whatever comes my way. I’ve learned to love and embrace them and I wish more people would be that way. Body shaming is a no in our family and we teach health is wealth at all sizes just not a size 0

  • The Sunny Side Lifestyle Co.

    Your article hits close to home and brings to light one of my fears as a mom. I fear the results that come from the pressure placed on our kids by social media to look a certain way. How can we come together and reverse this negative talk and instead appreciate each other for who we are instead of what we look like?

  • Tracy @ Cleland Clan

    I read recently that the average woman is the U.S. is size 16-18 which is definitely not what the media is showing us. So many young girls are dieting and overexercising in their quest to be the “perfect” size, instead of being happy with the size they are. It’s always good to try to eat healthy and exercise, but you should always love the body you’re in instead of being ashamed of it.

  • Scott J DeNicola

    Whatever makes you happy is the most important. Body image is so prevalent now on TV and social media between the Kardashians and million and one housewives shows, everyone is made of plastic and silicone. Rock what God gave you and be proud of yourself. I always wish that people would lead a healthy life only so they could be around longer to enjoy all it has to offer but the choice is yours in the end.

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